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Dirty parrot jokes! 
5th-Feb-2011 09:46 pm
filthy lucre, money, commercialism, getting paid, shakespeare
I've been told these are very old indeed (dating at least back to the '40s), but they were new to me!



A famous prostitute died and all her belongings were being sold at auction... including her beloved parrot.

The auctioneer said "Bidding starts at $100 for this gorgeous parrot, sold as is... one hundred, one hundred, one hundred, do I hear one-fifty? One-fifty, one-fifty, one-fifty, do I hear two hundred?"

The parrot piped up, "Baby, don't be cheap. Three hundred and you can do me up the ass."

***

Another parrot wound up in a bird rescue. A woman came in looking to adopt, and was told, "The police brought him in after they shut down a brothel and nobody claimed him. He's tame and friendly but his language is a little, um, colorful..." She said, "Oh, I don't mind at all. Poor bird, he doesn't know what he's saying. We'll give him a good home."

She brought him home and set him up in a new cage. He climbed into his perch, preened, looked around and said, "Hahaha, new house, new madam! Hi, madam!"

Her two teenage daughters came home from school. The parrot said, "Hahaha, new house, new madam, new whores! Hi, ladies!"

Then her husband came home. The parrot said, "Hahaha, new house, new madam, new whores, same old Larry! Hi, Larry!"
Comments 
6th-Feb-2011 04:02 am (UTC)
Haha! Awesome. I will have to share these with my dad. He likes to send me parrot jokes.
6th-Feb-2011 02:21 pm (UTC)
I just sent them to my dad too! :)
8th-Feb-2011 03:58 am (UTC)
I just sent it to my mom LOL.
6th-Feb-2011 06:25 am (UTC)
Second joke LOL
6th-Feb-2011 02:41 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, the second one's the best. XD
6th-Feb-2011 10:07 pm (UTC)
Ahaha, love em!
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